1. Having to wait weeks to pluck up the courage to call the bank
You remember being a kid and hearing your Mam call the bank, no bother to her.
But you? You put it off for weeks until it’s deathly necessary and even then, you still need a stiff drink after it.
2. Going up to the counter to pay for ~alcohol~ and thinking that they’re going to call the guards
You have been of legal drinking age for 7 years now, but there’s still a part of you that thinks the cashier is going to pick up the phone and be like, “Hello, guards? We have a person here impersonating an adult and she’s trying to buy alcohol.”
3. Ordering food in a restaurant and making an absolute hames of the pronunciation
Real adults might know how to pronounce this Japanese dish, but you haven’t a notion and end up offending an entire culture.
4. Realising that your grandmother had four children and was running an entire household when she was your age.
Meanwhile, you’re Googling “best way to chop onions”.
5. Drying your clothes with a hairdryer because you just can’t be arsed ironing
Also, there’s a 27% chance you don’t even own an iron to begin with.
6. Discovering that all your clothes have turned a disgusting shade of off-pink because you forgot to separate your lights and darks.
Again.
7. Going for your “sit” in the work bathroom and realising that you have a toothpaste stain going down your front.
Wonderful.
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8. Feeling queasy when you think about how the news would refer to you as a “woman” or “man” if anything bad were to happen to you.
My mother is a woman.
I, on the other hand, am a girl.
Right?
9. Looking in your shopping trolley and realising that it looks like you’re hosting a child’s birthday party
Contents of shopping trolley: milk, bread, ham, 12-pack of Meanies, Babybel
10. Having to stop yourself from saying, “Oh my God, will your Mam not kill you?” when a friend tells you she’s pregnant
Oh, that’s right.
We’re adults and sometimes adults get pregnant, and it’s not that big a deal.
*bites tongue*
11. Getting overwhelmed just thinking of “the bins”
What days do the bins go out? Where do you get the bin vouchers? Can this excessive packaging that came with my razor go in the green bin?
*goes for a lie down*
12. Looking down at your plate and realising your Mam would be appalled if she saw what you were having for dinner
Your Mam: “What did you have for dinner?”
You, lying: “Oh, just a hearty stew I rustled up from some leftover vegetables I had.”
In reality: You had a bowl of Koka Beef Noodles and two slices of toast smeared with peanut butter.
13. Checking your bank balance and realising you’re broke… when there’s still 9 days to pay day
You have no real responsibilities or dependants, and yet your money is gone.
Why don’t they teach you about budgeting in school?
14. Not being able to fold a fitted sheet and wishing someone else was there to help you
MAAAAAAAAM!
15. And buying a bottle of wine only to realise you have no glasses to drink it from
A mug of wine it is!
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